Rekha prays every morning, keeps her fasts and goes to the temple. But last month a neighbour said something cutting to her at a family function, in front of everyone. Since then Rekha has not spoken to her properly. At work a colleague's compliment keeps her glowing for a whole day, and one remark from the same colleague leaves her low for two.
One evening the question comes: after all this worship, why am I still like this? Does my devotion even count?
The Gita answers this directly. At the end of chapter 12 the Lord says what a devotee who is dear to Him is like. He does not list fasts or rites. He says how that person is with people, and how that person is with the ups and downs of life. The picture He draws is built one mark at a time, not in a day.
What the Lord looks at
The Lord begins in the very first of these verses:
निर्ममो निरहङ्कारः समदुःखसुखः क्षमी ॥ १२.१३ ॥
nirmamo nirahankāraḥ sama-duḥkha-sukhaḥ kṣhamī || 12.13 ||
One who bears hatred toward no being, who is friendly and compassionate toward all, who is free from possessiveness and ego, who remains balanced in pain and pleasure, and who is forgiving... (the sentence is completed in the next verse, where Krishna says such a devotee is dear to Him). Here Krishna begins his portrait of the ideal devotee, starting with the qualities that shape one's attitude toward others and toward oneself.
मय्यर्पितमनोबुद्धिर्यो मद्भक्तः स मे प्रियः ॥ १२.१४ ॥
mayy arpita-mano-buddhir yo mad-bhaktaḥ sa me priyaḥ || 12.14 ||
One who is always content, ever united with the Divine, self-controlled, firm in conviction, and who has offered both mind and intellect to Me, such a devotee of Mine is dear to Me. This verse completes the sentence begun in the previous one and gives the central idea: inner contentment, discipline, firm resolve, and total offering of one's thoughts and decisions are the marks of one who is dear to the Lord.
Here it is in everyday words. This is someone who hates no being. Someone who is a friend to all and feels for those in trouble. Someone who does not treat everything as "mine" and is free of the feeling "I do it all". Someone who stays the same in pleasure and pain, and who knows how to forgive. Someone who is content, keeps the mind in hand, and has handed mind and understanding over to the Lord. Such a devotee, the Lord says, is dear to Him.
Three things to notice
The first is how the person stands with other people: no hatred, friendliness toward all, and compassion for those who are hurting. The Lord adds that this person does not shake others and is not shaken by them (Gita 12.15). So a person with a settled mind hands that settledness on to the people near.
The second is how the person stands with the ups and downs. He does not surge with delight, harbour hatred, sink into grief or keep grabbing at new wants (Gita 12.17). Blame or praise, his mind stays the same (Gita 12.19). This is the very place where Rekha swings like a pendulum. And here evenness is not coldness: the same person is a friend and has compassion.
The third is how the person stands with the Lord. Handing over mind and intellect means that decisions go to Him as well, not only feelings. And such a person is content with whatever comes (Gita 12.19). This is the centre, and the other marks come out of it.
What handing over looks like
Handing over mind and intellect does not mean sitting with folded hands. Take Rekha choosing a school for her daughter. She gathers facts, asks two or three people, weighs fees and distance, and decides. Then she says inwardly: I did my best with my understanding, and the result is in Your hands. Before, she would replay the decision all night. Now, once it is made, she does not reopen it again and again. The effort is complete and the grip is loose (Gita 2.47).
What this does not say
- It is not an exam. The Lord does not say, pass this and I will accept you. The last verse says that those who live this teaching as it was given, with faith, are exceedingly dear to Him (Gita 12.20). It speaks of starting to live it, not of having finished. And even a person of very bad conduct, once he turns to the Lord, soon becomes righteous (Gita 9.30–31).
- It is not feeling nothing. The list opens with friendliness and compassion.
- It is not getting it all by tonight. For one who cannot manage all this at once, the Lord has given four steps (Gita 12.6–12), which you can read in The Ladder of Devotion.
Which mark to begin with
The list is long, so begin where it hurts today.
- Bitterness toward someone: take the first mark, hating no one (Gita 12.13).
- Praise and blame swing you: practise staying level in both (Gita 12.19).
- Fear or restlessness: neither shake others nor be shaken (Gita 12.15), and hand the day's work to the Lord.
- A feeling that everything depends on you: loosen the weight of "I am the one doing it all" (Gita 12.13).
One at a time is enough.
What to do when the mind is shaken
Sometimes there is no time to recall the marks: the neighbour walks in, or someone throws a sharp remark. The Gita gives three small things for that moment. First, see that a disturbance has come, and that it comes and goes (Gita 2.14). Second, do not hurry to answer, because a person who is shaken within shares the shaking with others. Third, say inwardly to the Lord: this too is Yours. Very often the sharp sentence that would have brought regret later is never spoken.
This is a small daily exercise, and the picture of chapter 12 is built out of it, slowly.
What Rekha tried over one month
Take Rekha again. She did not try to grab every mark at once. She chose one: no hatred. Whenever the neighbour's face came to mind she said one line inwardly: may she be well. She did not go calling or make any grand gesture.
At work, when praise came, she said thank you and went back to her task. When criticism came, she kept what was useful in it and left the rest where it was. Weeks went by. At the end of the month she noticed that the sight of the neighbour no longer soured her morning. Bad days still came. But now she knew the way back.
Choose one mark from the list, for example "hating no one". Before starting work each morning, say inwardly: today my mind and my decisions are Yours. Each night ask one question: where was I shaken today, and what did I hand over? You need not write the answer. Just look at it.
Questions readers ask
Will the Lord not love me without all these qualities?
These marks are a direction of travel, not a condition for entry. Someone who turns to the Lord, however far he had strayed, soon becomes righteous (Gita 9.30–31), and the last verse also speaks of living the teaching, not of completing it (Gita 12.20).
Does such a devotee never feel anger or sorrow?
The verses describe someone who is no longer held by them (Gita 12.15, Gita 12.17). Moods come and go, which is why they can be borne (Gita 2.14). The work is not to be carried away by them.
Does forgiving mean pretending nothing happened?
No. Forgiveness comes together with freedom from hatred (Gita 12.13); it does not say the wrong was right. What is let go is the wrong's hold on the mind, not the knowledge of what happened.
How can someone with a home and a job live this?
These verses are for any person, not for one class. "No attachment to any dwelling" means not clinging to the house, not leaving it (Gita 12.19), and Janaka and others were perfected through action (Gita 3.20). The Lord also asks for skill in work (Gita 12.16), so work is not given up.
Going deeper
Each verse in turn, with a seven-day practice, is in the detailed reading, and the harder questions with the views of commentators are in the deeper reading. The step before this one, for the mind that will not stay, is The Ladder of Devotion.