The Lord ends chapter 12 with a long list: no hatred, friendliness, compassion, evenness, contentment, skill, silence and more (Gita 12.13–20). Read quickly, it looks like an exam paper that one must pass before the Lord will call a person His own. So the question is how so many marks can make one picture, and what we are meant to do with the picture.
Here is the answer in short. The marks fall into four relationships: with other beings, with one's own moods, with events, and with work. All four hang from one centre, which is mind and intellect offered to the Lord (Gita 12.14). Where that centre stands, the Lord says, "such a one is dear to Me." We take the eight verses in order.
Where these verses come in the chapter
The chapter opens with Arjuna's question: of those who worship the Lord with form and those who worship the unmanifest, who knows yoga best? The Lord answers that those who fix their mind on Him and worship with faith are best (Gita 12.1–2). That question is dealt with in Devotion or the Unmanifest. Then He gives four steps for the one whose mind will not stay (Gita 12.6–12); they are set out in The Ladder of Devotion.
After that the chapter ends with a person, not a rule. In eight verses the sentence "dear to Me" comes back again and again. The answer to "who is best?" is being given as a life that can be seen.
The eight verses in order
No hatred, friendliness and compassion (12.13)
निर्ममो निरहङ्कारः समदुःखसुखः क्षमी ॥ १२.१३ ॥
nirmamo nirahankāraḥ sama-duḥkha-sukhaḥ kṣhamī || 12.13 ||
One who bears hatred toward no being, who is friendly and compassionate toward all, who is free from possessiveness and ego, who remains balanced in pain and pleasure, and who is forgiving... (the sentence is completed in the next verse, where Krishna says such a devotee is dear to Him). Here Krishna begins his portrait of the ideal devotee, starting with the qualities that shape one's attitude toward others and toward oneself.
The sentence is unfinished here; "such a devotee is dear to Me" comes in the next verse. It holds four pairs.
The first pair is about other beings. Freedom from hatred is the root mark, and two warm marks grow from it: friendliness, for everyone, and compassion, which wakes when someone is in trouble. In the Gita both show up as being intent on the good of all beings (Gita 12.4, Gita 5.25).
The second pair is two knots within. One is "mine", the other is "I am the doer". When possessiveness and ego are both let go, peace comes (Gita 2.71). The third pair is evenness in pain and pleasure, which is possible because both come and go (Gita 2.14). The fourth is forgiveness: the mind does not sit holding on to what someone did.
Content, self-controlled, firm and offered (12.14)
मय्यर्पितमनोबुद्धिर्यो मद्भक्तः स मे प्रियः ॥ १२.१४ ॥
mayy arpita-mano-buddhir yo mad-bhaktaḥ sa me priyaḥ || 12.14 ||
One who is always content, ever united with the Divine, self-controlled, firm in conviction, and who has offered both mind and intellect to Me, such a devotee of Mine is dear to Me. This verse completes the sentence begun in the previous one and gives the central idea: inner contentment, discipline, firm resolve, and total offering of one's thoughts and decisions are the marks of one who is dear to the Lord.
This verse is the centre of the portrait, and it completes the sentence: "such a devotee of Mine is dear to Me." Four things are named. The devotee is always content, and the contentment is inward, not dependent on outer supports (Gita 4.20). Mind and senses are under control. The resolve is firm, meaning the intellect points one way and is not scattered among many branches (Gita 2.41). And mind and intellect have been offered to the Lord.
Both are named because they do different things. The mind wants and feels; the intellect decides. If only the mind leans toward the Lord while decisions are made somewhere else, devotion stays a mood. The Lord asks Arjuna for the whole of it: remember Me at all times and do your duty, with mind and intellect offered to Me (Gita 8.7). It is also the first step on the ladder (Gita 12.8). Every other mark in this portrait comes out of this centre.
Disturbing no one, disturbed by no one (12.15)
हर्षामर्षभयोद्वेगैर्मुक्तो यः स च मे प्रियः ॥ १२.१५ ॥
harṣhāmarṣha-bhayodvegair mukto yaḥ sa cha me priyaḥ || 12.15 ||
One by whom no one is agitated, who is not agitated by anyone, and who is free from elation, resentment, fear, and anxiety, is dear to Me. The devotee lives in such harmony with the world that neither causes disturbance to others nor is thrown off balance by them.
Disturbance is named in two directions: this person does not shake others, and is not shaken by them. We seldom think about the first. Someone who is shaken inside passes it on, as a sharp tone, a hurry, a jibe. The Gita's rule for speech is that words should not agitate anyone (Gita 17.15). So inner steadiness is also a kindness to the people around us.
Four moods are named: overjoy, intolerance, fear and agitation. The joy meant here is the surge that turns into pride and then into fear of losing what was gained. Intolerance is not being able to bear another's rise, or one's own slight.
Clean, skilful and impartial in work (12.16)
सर्वारम्भपरित्यागी यो मद्भक्तः स मे प्रियः ॥ १२.१६ ॥
sarvārambha-parityāgī yo mad-bhaktaḥ sa me priyaḥ || 12.16 ||
One who is free from dependence on worldly gain, who is pure, skilful, impartial, and untroubled, and who has given up all self-centred undertakings, such a devotee of Mine is dear to Me. These qualities describe a person who works efficiently and cleanly but is not driven by personal ambition or anxiety.
Here the devotee stands in the world of work. He expects nothing from outside to make his work complete. He is clean and skilful, and yoga in the Gita is skill in action (Gita 2.50). He is impartial, which does not mean he does not care; it means his decisions are not bent by his own pull toward one side.
The last phrase is that he gives up every self-driven undertaking. What goes is the beginning that starts from self-interest, not duty. One whose every undertaking is free of desire is called wise (Gita 4.19). And since no embodied person can give up action wholly, the true renouncer is the one who gives up attachment to the fruit (Gita 18.11).
Four things the mind does not do (12.17)
शुभाशुभपरित्यागी भक्तिमान्यः स मे प्रियः ॥ १२.१७ ॥
śhubhāśhubha-parityāgī bhaktimān yaḥ sa me priyaḥ || 12.17 ||
One who neither becomes elated nor feels aversion, who neither grieves nor craves, who has renounced attachment to both good and bad outcomes, and who is full of devotion, is dear to Me. Krishna describes a heart that is no longer driven by attraction and aversion, loss and gain, because it rests in devotion.
This person does not surge with delight, does not hate, does not grieve and does not crave. Attachment to the good and to the bad is given up, so he neither clings to what pleases nor recoils from what hurts. It matches the mark of steady wisdom in chapter 2, one who is neither delighted nor hostile when good or bad comes (Gita 2.54–57). The verse ends with "full of devotion": this steadiness is not apart from devotion.
Evenness, a light hold, silence (12.18-19)
शीतोष्णसुखदुःखेषु समः सङ्गविवर्जितः ॥ १२.१८ ॥
śhītoṣhṇa-sukha-duḥkheṣhu samaḥ saṅga-vivarjitaḥ || 12.18 ||
One who is equal toward enemy and friend, balanced in honour and dishonour, even-minded in cold and heat, pleasure and pain, and free from attachment... (the sentence is completed in the next verse, where such a person is declared dear to the Lord). The devotee's evenness is rooted not in coldness but in freedom from attachment.
अनिकेतः स्थिरमतिर्भक्तिमान्मे प्रियो नरः ॥ १२.१९ ॥
aniketaḥ sthira-matir bhaktimān me priyo naraḥ || 12.19 ||
One who is alike in censure and praise, who is restrained in speech and contemplative, who is content with whatever comes, who feels no attachment to any dwelling, who is steady in mind and full of devotion, is a person dear to Me. This completes the sentence of the previous verse, and the qualities shown here are open to any person, not to any particular class or station.
These two verses are one sentence, ending in "dear to Me". Five pairs are listed: foe and friend, honour and dishonour, cold and heat, pleasure and pain, blame and praise. One phrase in the middle names the ground of all of them: free from attachment. This evenness does not come from coldness; it comes from a light hold. Equanimity has the whole subject.
The second verse adds four more marks. He is silent and thoughtful, in speech and in mind. He is content with whatever comes, with no grievance against what simply arrived (Gita 4.22). He has no attachment to any dwelling. That is not an order to leave home; it is about the clinging. The Gita says the same elsewhere as freedom from clinging to children, spouse and home (Gita 13.10), and Janaka and others reached perfection through action (Gita 3.20). And his mind is steady. The site's verse notes add that these qualities are open to any person, not to a class.
Living it as taught (12.20)
श्रद्दधाना मत्परमा भक्तास्तेऽतीव मे प्रियाः ॥ १२.२० ॥
śhraddadhānā mat-paramā bhaktās te 'tīva me priyāḥ || 12.20 ||
Those who follow this immortal teaching of righteousness, exactly as it has been declared, with faith and with Me as their supreme goal, such devotees are exceedingly dear to Me. This concluding verse of the chapter turns the whole portrait of the ideal devotee into a call to action: the teaching must be lived, not merely admired.
The verse begins with "but". It sets apart those who admire the portrait and stop, and those who live it: as it was taught, with faith, with the Lord as the highest aim. Before it said "dear"; here it says "exceedingly dear". The picture is for walking, and the closer one walks to it, the closer one stands.
The whole portrait in one view
| Relationship | Marks | Verses |
|---|---|---|
| Centre | Mind and intellect offered; contentment; self-control; firm resolve | 12.14 |
| With other beings | No hatred; friendliness; compassion; forgiveness; shakes no one | 12.13, 12.15 |
| With one's own moods | No surge of joy, no hatred, no grief, no craving; free of fear and agitation | 12.15, 12.17 |
| With events | Level in pain and pleasure, honour and dishonour, blame and praise, foe and friend; content with what comes | 12.13, 12.18-19 |
| With work and life | Free of expectation, clean, skilful, impartial; no self-driven undertakings; no clinging to a dwelling; steady mind | 12.16, 12.19 |
Where else the Gita draws this person
These marks are not peculiar to chapter 12. The same person appears from other sides all through the Gita.
- The person of steady wisdom. Chapter 2 puts it almost in these words: unshaken in sorrow, free of craving in pleasure, free of attachment, fear and anger, neither delighted nor hostile when good or bad comes (Gita 2.54–57). In chapter 12 the same picture has been joined to "dear to Me".
- The one beyond the qualities of nature. Chapter 14 has equal in pleasure and pain, blame and praise, honour and dishonour, friend and foe, and giving up all undertakings, in nearly the same words (Gita 14.24–25).
- The even-minded toward all. Chapter 6 widens the circle from the well-wisher to the enemy, from the saint to the sinner (Gita 6.9), and calls the best yogi the one who sees another's joy and pain as his own (Gita 6.32). This is where compassion comes from.
- The one without enmity. In chapter 11 the Lord is reached by one who works for Him, free of attachment and without enmity toward any being (Gita 11.55).
- No grief, no craving. In chapter 18 a person who does not grieve or crave, and is equal toward all beings, gains supreme devotion (Gita 18.54).
Chapter 12 adds three things of its own: the plain names of friendliness and compassion, the offering of mind and intellect, and the relationship of "dear".
Why a portrait and not a rule
First, the question was "who is best?", and a portrait answers it most clearly. A rule says "do this"; a portrait shows what a person who lives it looks like.
Second, these marks cannot be raised one at a time by force. Pressing down anger does not bring peace; peace comes when the centre changes. That is why the list is built on offering (Gita 12.14), and why the chapter has already given steps for the person whose centre does not hold (Gita 12.6–12).
Third, the order. Steps come first, the person second. The Lord first shows how to walk, then shows what a walker becomes.
Arjuna was called "dear" long before he finished
Looking at this portrait, someone may think: first I must become like this, and then the Lord will call me dear. In the Gita the order runs the other way. In chapter 2 Arjuna comes as a disciple with a mind weak and bewildered (Gita 2.7). Even so, the Lord later calls him His devotee and friend (Gita 4.3), and at the end says, you are very dear to Me (Gita 18.64). All this is said while Arjuna's doubts have not yet gone. They go at the close of chapter 18, and then Arjuna's answer is what stands at the centre of this portrait: I will act according to Your word (Gita 18.73). So "dear" is spoken at the start of the road as well as at its end. The portrait is what walking produces.
Common misreadings
"Dear" means everyone else is unloved. It does not. In chapter 9 the Lord says He is equal to all beings, and that those who worship with devotion are in Him and He in them (Gita 9.29). The nearness is made by the devotee's turning.
It is an exam to be passed first. Even a person of very bad conduct who turns to the Lord is counted a saint (Gita 9.30–31). For the one who cannot take the higher step there are lower steps (Gita 12.6–12). The portrait is the direction of travel.
Evenness means coldness. The very first verse names friendliness and compassion. Evenness is there because the hold is light, not because feeling has died.
"No attachment to any dwelling" means leave home. The verse speaks of clinging, and the house is not the point.
"Giving up undertakings" means doing nothing. The sixteenth verse itself asks for skill. What goes is the undertaking begun from self-interest.
Anger, envy and comparison: how the portrait treats them
Three everyday troubles are hidden in this list, and the Gita answers all three in one place.
Anger. Chapter 2 gives the chain. Brooding on an object breeds attachment, attachment breeds desire, and desire, when blocked, breeds anger (Gita 2.62). Anger leads to bewilderment, loss of memory and the ruin of the intellect (Gita 2.63). The devotee of chapter 12 does not catch anger at the last link. He is light at the first ones. His grip of "mine" and "I" is loose and he is free from attachment (Gita 12.13, Gita 12.18–19), so the spark finds no fuel. In practice: when you catch yourself saying "it should have been like this", stop right there.
Envy and comparison. The fifteenth verse names intolerance, the inability to bear another's rise or one's own insult. In chapter 4 the person who is not bound by his work is content with what comes of itself, above the pairs of opposites and free from envy (Gita 4.22). Comparison needs someone else's bowl to measure by. Where contentment rests within (Gita 4.20), there is no measuring tape. So when a colleague's promotion stings, the question is not "why did he get it" but "where is my centre today".
Before speaking. Speech is the road all three travel on, and the Gita gives three questions for it. Does the speech trouble no one? Is it true? Is it kind and helpful (Gita 17.15)? Before saying something sharp, ask them. Whatever fails them, hold back for two breaths.
An example
Take Ashok, who runs a small hardware shop. One day he learns that the shopkeeper next door is spreading a false story about him. The four moods come up at once: jealousy at the other man's gain, anger at the insult, fear of losing customers, and a restless day (Gita 12.15).
That same week a few customers praise him warmly, and he swells up with pleasure. Within two days he sees that the blame had shaken him exactly as much as the praise had.
So he goes back to the centre. Before opening the shop in the morning, he pauses and says: today's work and today's decisions are Yours. When he speaks about the neighbour, he says nothing that would fan the fire. In the shop he sells at honest prices and works as skilfully as before. After a month both blame and praise have grown lighter. Bad days still come. But now he knows the way back.
A practice for seven days
Take one group of verses each day:
- Day one, the centre. Before starting work, pause and say: today my mind and decisions are Yours (Gita 12.14).
- Day two, hatred. Think of the one person whose name sours your mind, and say one line for them: may they be well (Gita 12.13).
- Day three, agitation. Notice when you were shaken today, and once keep your words gentle (Gita 12.15, Gita 17.15).
- Day four, expectation. Find one expectation in today's work and set it down, still doing the work fully (Gita 12.16, Gita 2.47).
- Day five, four moods. Once today, name what rose: surge, hatred, grief or craving (Gita 12.17).
- Day six, praise and blame. Hear one compliment and one sharp remark with the same mind, then return to work (Gita 12.18–19).
- Day seven, as taught. Look over the week and choose one mark to hold for the next (Gita 12.20).
- Where is the centre of my devotion: in feeling alone, or in my decisions as well?
- Whose name has carried my oldest hatred, and what do I gain by keeping it?
- Which shakes me more, praise or blame?
- Which of my undertakings begins only from my own interest?
Questions readers ask
Which of so many marks should I take up first?
Begin from the centre: mind and intellect offered (Gita 12.14). The other marks come out of it. If the centre itself will not hold, the steps of practice and giving up the fruit come first (Gita 12.8, Gita 12.6–12).
Does "free from expectation" mean giving up ambition?
No. The work needs full skill (Gita 2.50). What goes is the grip on the result: the right is to the action, never to its fruit (Gita 2.47).
What does "no attachment to a dwelling" ask of a householder?
Keep the home, and drop the clinging. The Gita's wording is freedom from attachment and excessive fondness for children, spouse and home (Gita 13.10), and Janaka was perfected through action (Gita 3.20). Nothing here advises staying or leaving.
Why are "clean" and "skilful" in a list about devotion?
Because work is part of devotion. A person who worships the Lord through his own natural work reaches perfection (Gita 18.45–46), and offered work is work done with skill.
Chapter 14 uses these same words, so is it the same person?
The marks are the same and the angle is different. There the person is seen as risen above the qualities of nature (Gita 14.24–25); here he is seen through devotion, as dear to the Lord. The two pictures complete each other.
Conclusion: when the centre changes, the marks follow
So what is the long list for? It is a picture: free of hatred with beings, steady with moods, level with events, skilful and light-handed in work. The picture has one centre, mind and intellect offered to the Lord. So these marks need not be won one by one; keep returning to the centre, and the rest changes with it. Chapter 18 puts it in a line:
समः सर्वेषु भूतेषु मद्भक्तिं लभते पराम् ॥ १८.५४ ॥
samaḥ sarveṣhu bhūteṣhu madbhaktiṁ labhate parām || 18.54 ||
One who has become one with Brahman, serene in mind, neither grieves nor desires; equal toward all beings, he attains supreme devotion to Me.
Going deeper
The same verses with one daily example are in the simple reading. How "dear" fits with the Lord's equality to all, how the marks that seem to collide fit together, and how the commentators divide are in the deeper reading. Offering is taken up in Offering All Actions.